Once I started to accumulate my boyfriend layer, I began to feel frumpy. My favorite clothes started not to fit and I was stuck wearing things that were expandable, did not have buttons, and my mom jeans. A battle ensued – to shop or not to shop? Do I surrender to my weight gain and buy new clothes so that on top of feeling fat, I don’t also feel ugly and unstylish? This time (yes, I’ve battled with my weight my entire life) I decided not to shop and have felt like a dweeb these past few months. I find that when I don’t like what I am wearing, I put in less effort over all. My bad hair days increase in frequency and I become less diligent with things such as applying lip gloss. It is amazing how a little weight gain can cause a ripple effect and other aspects of your appearance begin to suffer. Or should I say at least in my case.
I reached a breaking point one day at work while looking into the restroom mirror. That particular day I wore a t-shirt, hoody, tattered jeans, and ballet flats. I looked at my reflection and was upset of what I had become. Now, I work in a very small office of four so our dress code is fairly relaxed. But that day, I had really taken relaxed to a whole new level. Finally though, I have regained my willpower and after months of feeling chunky, I am doing something about it. Insert, 17 day diet and blogging experiment.All this self reflection got me thinking about a lot of things – including my mom. I have been blessed with two great parents. But seeing as this is Mother’s day, I feel it is necessary to write about my mom. On topic, one thing in particular stands out about her. I have always admired my mom’s ability to maintain herself. She rarely if ever leaves the house without make-up on and her hair is always done. Sometimes we even give her a hard time for going overboard because she showers and does her hair and make-up before heading to the gym. Although we accuse her of only going to the gym to meet up with her chatty friends, I am proud of her for even going – which she does on a regular basis. Lastly, she will probably kill me for announcing that she is sixty, but for her age she dresses well.
My parents came to visit for Easter, which was during the height of my hellish detox. I was reminded of my mom’s beauty routine and what a good job she does maintaining herself. It was enough of a reminder that I’ve kicked myself back in gear and been making much more of an effort. The weight loss of the first cycle is also motivating.
Last night I took myself shopping for the first time in a long time. I want to lose more weight so rather than treating myself to clothes I focused on the accessories. I purchased make-up and a watch. I am not purposing that material things and looks are everything, but from my experience the better I feel about myself has a direct impact on my mood, relationships, professional life, and over all confidence. I won’t always give my mom credit for being right, but I am going to give her props this time. Thanks for the motivation to keep my maintenance up.
I’d be remiss not to make a few Mother’s day shout outs. In addition to my mom, I’d like to wish my boyfriends mom a very happy Mother’s day. Thank you for raising such an amazing son and for always being so warm and welcoming to me. Also, happy Mother’s day to Carol (Curl), Lindsay, Kristin (Red), and Mandy (half pint), very dear friends who recently welcomed new additions to their families. Welcome to the world – twins Lindsey and Emily, Sierra, Lucas, and Macy!